By Dr. Mike Brooks
I listened to my friend tell me that he was throwing in the towel while he cried tears of defeat. He wanted the relationship with his daughter to be a loving relationship, but she refused and ignored him. The heartbreak this caused him continues still to this day.
I also had a client whose parents didn’t want anything to do with him. He craved their attention at an early age yet because of their drinking problems and parties they attended, he lived a life of loneliness in his own home. He has no relationship with his parents and wants to have one now since he has two children. He wonders if it’s worth it to reestablish family ties and has fears of rejection from his aging parents.
How about those who live in a loveless marriage who feel they are in a “roommate” status with their spouse? I see this more often than not. For those of you who are fighting to keep your marriage alive and your will to do so is waning away, help is coming your way.
I often get asked, “Dr. Mike, what can I do to regain energy to fight for the things I believe in? I am weary and tired from fighting to keep my sanity. What’s the point? Is it worth it for me to keep trying over and over again? I just want to give up and try to save what emotions I have. I want to crawl into bed pull the covers over my head and have my problems just go away.” Many of us just can’t stay in the fight forever and don’t know how to keep moving forward. We stare at the headlights and never move from the tracks, knowing we will get hit by the speedy train barreling down on us. There is no energy to move so we take what comes our way. Have you ever been there before? I sure have and I know it’s a painful place to be.
I hear many stories of people who have quit too soon. They should have held on just a little while longer. There is no shame in planning and waiting. For some folks they can’t see the writing on the wall and know it’s time to end an event or relationship. Case in point – a jilted lover, he/she knows that they have been in an unhealthy relationship and one that would never go anywhere but when one of the lovers wants to move on without the other, then one of the two will usually wait by the phone for a call. This is unhealthy for sure and it happens more often than not.
To the parent who is waiting for his son or daughter to come around again, I say never give up. I hear from many parents whose sons or daughters have walked away from a relationship with them. Always leave the door open for communication and reconnecting. I have seen it happen many times. I had one client tell me that his friend advised him that while his daughter ignored him, he should ignore her too. I told him that was never a good idea and suggested he send his daughter a birthday card, Christmas card, and special occasion cards. Even a few phone calls to let her know that he loved her and still cared were appropriate. I told him that unconditional love is what she must see from him. Never give up on your children or any family relationship for that matter.
Do you need to reestablish some goals to stay positive and not give up? Do you need to focus on realistic expectations and see if they can work for you? Are you afraid of the road ahead of you and don’t know what to do? If you answered yes to any of these questions, give me a call.
Applicable Life Coaching & Counseling Services
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and from the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching and counseling for those who live out of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!